I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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