so explain again why im purple
no
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
