you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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