After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
