pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have post one night stand depression
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