So drunk its hurt
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
