I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
