Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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