felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
