did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
