So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
