Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
