remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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