so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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