My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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