I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
