I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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