found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
