I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
