Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
