On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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