the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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