No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
