I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
