Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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