One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
