Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
