You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
