i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
