a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
