Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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