The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize