I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
