Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
