Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All the doctor said was why
Randomize