She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
