So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
