She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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