so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
