Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No subtext here. People are naked.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
