i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
