Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
