Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize