i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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