He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
