Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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