In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so explain again why im purple
no
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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