i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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