dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
