I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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