I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
