I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You don't make any sense
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