Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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