We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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