# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I will be naked everywhere
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
