Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
