I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
