Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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