So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
