Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
