Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
