Moan for me like Helen Keller
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
