Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
